A Letter To The Government

Dear Government

You might have noticed that more and more people are getting poorer. Maybe you care, maybe you don't. Either way it is your problem. I know you have been trying to improve people's lives and for that I give you three brownie points for the effort. However I believe you haven't been trying hard enough. You have failed to recognise that not everyone wants a tender (although that seem to be the picture you are painting, not intentionally I hope). Not everyone wants a house in Sandton or a BMW. You'll be amazed that most people are happy to get by with a decent house and a job. You seem to be distributing a lot of tax-payers money but do you really know where is it going or you are just turning a blind eye.

I'm not writing this to highlight your problems, which are pretty obvious, but offer solutions. See, I love this country. I don't want it to get to a point where poor people decide to take up arms and demand what's theirs. I'm certain that's not want you want unless uyahlanya. So here are few of my solutions:

RDP Houses

Here is a scenario: You build houses for the poor but then they end up at the wrong owners. So what do you to stop this from happening. Recently it was reported that six out of ten matriculants won't find jobs. Perhaps you'd wanna use the matriculants from those areas to monitor and report if houses are allocated correctly. I doubt they'll be required to have a university degree to perform these tasks.

Education

You'll agree with me that the standard of education in this country has decreased. This, you'll agree with me again, is the result of poor prior preparation. Having realised this, I propose that you build speciality high schools all over the country. There should be a school that is strictly dedicated to science, another one to accounting, and so on. These schools should be designed to cater only for poor bright kids. In this way we prepare them for varsity and also avoid skill shortages in the future. You're probably thinking where the money for all of this is going to come from. I suppose if you have 17 million rands to entertain presidents and kings, another millions of rands to buy MPs cars, then it shouldn't be difficult to raise 3 million rands to build a school. I'm just saying.

Social Grants

Growing up in a township I have witnessed the abuse of social grants. Half the money doesn't even go to the intended recipients. It is used usually for alcohol consumption or other unnecessary things like KFC (Not saying that the poor kid shouldn't have KFC, it's just that there are more important things) . Here is my suggestion: How about you stop giving out cash. Is that it? No it's not it, at least not only it. A recipients gurdian or parent would need to declare the child's needs before they are given a grant. Design credit-card style cards that can be used at department stores for purchases instead of giving out cash. Make deals with departments stores where a child's material needs maybe fulfilled. This will also decrease corruption as people will now realise that there is no cash involved and therefore no temptation. Another thought: why don't you start taxing grants less than 1% and use the money for health care.


So these are my suggestions. Use them. Don't use them.

MPUMALANGA MATRIC QUESTION PAPER (Very Funny)

This I found when I was listening to 702 Radio. A Mpulalanga Province exam paper. I thought it was hilarious. Obviously it's not a real exam paper.

MPUMALANGA MATRIC QUESTION PAPER

Time Limit: 3 DAYS

Name: _____________________________

1. What language is spoken in Lesotho?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR-
give the first name of Jabu Pule.

3. Would you ask Mzekezeke to
___ (a) lecture a science class
___ (b) sail the ocean
___ (c) lead an army or
___ (d) sing kwaito

4 What religious denomination is the Pope?
___ (a) ZCC
___ (b) Catholic
___ (c) Atheist
___ (d) Zimbabwean
(make 2 guesses)

5. How many feet is 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is
on the 6? (clue:30 minutes before Jam Alley on Fridays)

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are Xhosa-speaking people called?
___ (a) Shangaans
___ (b) Israelites
___ (c) Xhosas

9. Spell: Bush, Hussein and Mugabe

Bush: ____________________________________________
Hussein: __________________________________________
Mugabe: __________________________________________

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being
George the Sixth. Name the previous five:

11. Where does rain come from?
___ (a) Hollywood
___ (b) September 11
___ (c) Canada
___ (d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
___ (a) yes
___ (b) no

13. What are braai-stands used for?

14. The Springbok Rugby team plays?
(a)Black-maipatile
(b)Rugby

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell
your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

(a)2nd Floor

(b)At the bottom of the building

17. When can the sun be clearly seen?
___ (a) During the day
___ (b) At night

18. Advanced math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you
have?

19. What does SABC (South African Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?

20. The Auckland Park Wits University campus in Johannesburg, where can
it be found?

___ (a) Auckland Park
___ (b) Auckland in Australia
________________________________________________________________________
________________

Amazingly the pass rate is the lowest