Tiger in the Woods!!

So Tiger Woods cheated on his wife and the whole world seem devastated by the news. People are calling him all sorts of names, the popular one being 'Che(e)(a)ter Woods'. I then ask why? I am always dismayed by the hypocrisy of the world. Had Tiger been Sipho from Alex, his behavior would have somehow been accepted and wouldn't have made headlines. But he is Tiger Woods they say. I then ask 'Who is Tiger Woods'? He is not God! He is a man just like me and you. He is susceptible to blunders just like everyone else. The only difference between us and him is that he won few golf championships. Then why crucify him?!

I think the real reason why people are mad at him is because people are always looking for heroes, someone who is faultless. Someone like Superman or Batman.Someone they can model their lives around. Well, let me burst your bubble - there are no perfect heroes out there. Spiderman is a myth! My friend Nonkuleko Godana once said that the only hero you'll ever find is the one you see in the mirror.

I am in no way justifying what Tiger did. I don't condone it but I understand. People need to learn that there are two kinds of men : Those who cheat and those who think about it. Chris Rock even said that 'A man is only as faithful as his options' - that theory is yet to be proven.
Let Tiger sort this thing with his wife. I doubt though that she'd leave him. The dude is rich. Ok, I'm just being silly here! All I am saying is let's leave him alone.

Tiger Woods erred. Let's forgive the guy and the reason why we should it is because all of us live in glass houses. The guy has won fourteen major golf championships. Can we not focus on that?

Ras Dumisani is the FUTURE!!

I do not understand the furore surrounding Ras Dumisani. I personally think it was quite entertaining. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it for the first time.

Yes I understand that the national anthem is the national pride and it should be respected. However if you look at the circumstances surrounding the nomination of Ras Dumi to sing the anthem, you'd understand that Dumi is not at fault. It turns out that Dumisani was recommended by the South African embassy in France. Their explanation for choosing him is that he was the only available South African artist on their database. After this explanation who can honestly blame Ras Dumisani. Certainly not me!

Truth be told, what did people expect from a reggae singer - Luciano Pavarotti? Ras was ask to sing and that's what he did. Anything else is irrelevant. The Springboks are blaming him for the lost - how lame! The YCL wants him arrested - how pathetic! I bet the same people baying for Ras Dumi's blood can't even sing the whole of national anthem.
I think we should rather address real issues rather than use Dumi as a scapegoat...and that issue is that South Africa is far from being united.

I say big ups to Ras Dumi. He did what he needed to do and he shouldn't be apologetic about it.

OBAMA AND THE NOBEL PRIZE!!

It is quite interesting to learn that Barrack Obama was honored with the Nobel Peace Prize. The news were met by mixed reactions. Most people feel it came too early. I have to agree with them. I strongly feel it came prematurely.

The reason given for awarding him was that he brought a lot of hope to the world. I then ask : which world? Certainly Africa is not hopeful, actually South Africa is not hopeful - ask people in Sakhile township. I even doubt that Americans are more hopeful than they were a year ago.
I admire President Obama. He really worked hard to get to where he is at right now. I mean, no one knew of him 5 years ago. He came out of nowhere and took everyone by suprise. However I do not see how his achievements affect South Africa or the world for that matter.

Back to the Nobel Prize, I still say he doesn't deserve it, he doesn't need it. It will create unnecessary and unrealistic expectations from him. Truth be told, he hasn't done anything to deserve such honor.

So You Think You Are Funny

I've just watched the episode of second season of So You Think You Are Funny. Today's episode had six contestants, namely, Mpho, Justice, Celeste, Khaya, Anne and Melody. Melody and Khaya have since been sent home.

Season 2 has improved quite significantly in comparison to season 1. The comedians are much more stronger, smarter and funnier. I have been impressed by the talent of Mpho. My bet is that he's going to win this competition. He is very observational treading along surreal. He is closely followed by my home-girl Celeste. She has improved greatly over the past few weeks. She has moved from being a Zulu only comedian to mainstream.

Then there was Anne. I don't think she is as funny as judges make her out to be. Justice also needs to move away from the Zulu audience to mainstream. Khaya is the type of guy that when you look at you just laugh. He won't cut it though in the world of stand-up comedy. And Melody...I am yet to laugh at her jokes.

So four contestants are left.

What Is It About Julius

I still fail why people get all worked up everytime Julius Malema says something that they don't neccessarily agree with. They always refer to him as the dude who fail woodwork. Just because someone got an H or G symbol doesn't mean that they are stupid. It could mean that they didn't study or didn't write the exam...We can't really use academic education as a benchmark as to who is intelligent and who is not. Bill Gates is a drop-out! Does that make him stupid? Sir Richard Branson can't read! Is he stupid? My point exactly!

Malema is not stupid I'd like to believe. All this could be a political ploy. Have you ever asked yourself why the ANC top leaders never reprimands Malema? For all we know Julius could be an A student and has an engineering degree. Ok jokes aside! Seriously though, next time Julius says something, take time to analyse it.

I am not a Julius fan, purely because I don't like politics. It's not personal. However I find his utterances quite interesting. More often than not he says all the things that people are afraid to say. He says what's on his mind regardless on how it's going to sound on the next person. And from my experience I have learnt that people secretly admire someone who speaks their mind. I think Julius has more fans than we'd like to think. Here are some of Julius' quotes:


"He must step down - We need a new president in Zim. The Zanu-PF is not the problem, the problem is the old man who is refusing to leave power. So that’s simple," said Malema.
"And I don’t know why the youth of that country are not taking him on. Because it is their own future, they must defend it now."

"We’ve got a minister who’s spending too much time using an American accent without assisting our people.
"Let the minister use that fake accent to address our problems and not behave like a spoilt minister."

"When a woman didn’t enjoy it, she leaves early in the morning. Those who had a nice time will wait until the sun comes out, request breakfast and ask for taxi money.
"In the morning, that lady requested breakfast and taxi money. You can’t ask for money from somebody who raped you."

South African politics needs Julius whether we'd like to admit it or not. Julius is to politics what manure is to soil.

...AND THERE WAS TECHNOLOGY!

I believe technology is a good, as a matter of fact it is greatest thing to ever happen to humankind since sliced cheese. Technology makes things easier. It make our lives more enjoyable. We now have cellphones, internet, cars, radio, etc. Can you imagine life without cellphones? How easy it is to keep in touch with the loved ones.

However I have a serious problem when technology starts to interfere with the normal functioning of a human being. Let me give you an example, a wife and a husband send each other sms's and yet they are in the same house. What's that?!! Like really now!! I know this happens because I have done it myself. Technology has made us lazy asses!! A person has a need to drive, instead of walking, to a corner shop which is less than a 100 meters away.

Another thing that pisses me off about technology is that it takes away the good old heart to heart communication. You invite friends you haven't seen in a while for drinks and the next thing they spent half of the time glued to their cellphones, updating their statuses on Facebook, Twitter or on Mxit. I mean, WTF!! I'm still here stupid and please remind me next time not to invite your technology-addicted ass!

I once saw a girl who went ballistic just because her phone battery died while she was chatting. The way she reacted you'd swear someone took her puppy, cut its throat and drank the blood while she was watching. I couldn't understand the big deal. But I couldn't verbalize my thoughts as I feared the impacts of her lunacy.

I am grateful for technology however I don't see the need to find fullfilment in it then in human beings.

South African Broadcasting Crap!!

How the HELL did SABC blow R800-million? Those were screaming headlines when SABC announced that they are broke. And I am reiterating - HOW THE HELL DID SABC BLOW R800-MILLION?! R800-million of tax-payers money!! It's not like they air the best of programmes. I can count good programmes on SABC on one hand and still struggle...
I know some people will say 'but people don't pay TV licences and that's why the broadcaster does not air good programmes'. Well, it's in their own right to say so...But lets do the basic mathematics here: There are about 20 million households with TV sets and lets assume, out of that total only 30 percent pay their TV licences. So that gives SABC a total of one billion, three-hundred and twenty million rands a year and that excludes money made from advertising. I don't know about you but that's a crazy lot of money. And when I am paying that much money I expect quality viewing.
My only conclusion to this will be : SABC has a bunch of incompetent idiots who don't know the meaning of being a steward. I hope they all get fired.

On the positive note though, I find SABC quite educational. Everytime someone turns on to SABC chanel, I go to the other room and read a book.

ZILLE, STOP IT NOW!

Helen Zille needs to stop her personal attacks on Jacob Zuma. First she starts with the campaign 'Stop Zuma' which clearly didn't work. Now she throws cheap shots by saying, I quote “Zuma is a self-confessed womaniser with deeply sexist views, who put all his wives at risk by having unprotected sex with an HIV-positive woman”. This comes from a woman who uses Botox. Since when did politics turned personal. Last time I checked politics were about the state of the country. Maybe I missed a turn where it changed to personal.

Ever since I've known Helen Zille, she is always complaining and she never offers any solutions. When she was a mayor, she only made sure that the innercity of Cape Town was safe, where mostly white people reside and forgot about the outskirts where crime is the highest in South Africa. This made me conclude that Zille is looking after her own.
I lost the respect I never had for her when she was playing right on Julius Malema's hand. But that's a story for another day.

Zille needs to focus on her party and only criticize when there is a need. She needs to leave Zuma alone. Jacob Zuma is now her president!! She needs to show some respect.

Another Idols V Farce

I was shocked the other day waking up to the news that Idols V finalist, Sasha-Lee might lose her crown as an Idol. The reasoning behind it, I quote The Times " SASHA-Lee Davids might lose her Idols crown because of a technical glitch". Tonight.co.za read "While post analysis of voting shows on M-Net always reveal a fair amount of late SMSes, the votes received on Sunday after the cut-off time of 6.05pm considerably exceeded the usual numbers. "It was far too many. It raised our eyebrows and management had to act. Why so many votes?" asked Erasmus.

Ok, I understand the technical problems, however I do not understand why Sasha-Lee might lose her crown. It's not her fault. Bottom-line, there were votes counted and those that were counted said that Shasha-Lee is a winner. Whatever happens after that is neither here nor there...unless of course there is a force behind who wants to sabotage miss Davids. I suspect there is. I don't wanna raise the race card but it's walking and sounding like a duck to me...

David Kau must have read my mind when he wrote on his Facebook status. This is what he said "Late votes on Idols mean exactly that - they're late. Competitions have closing date and time. When u enter a competion (sic) and send a postcard, when did it ever matter when did the post office collect the post cards from the post box".
It emerges that the cellphone companies are at fault, well then let the issue be dealt with them and leave Sasha-Lee alone. I could only imagine what's going on Shasha-Lee's head right now.

If results say that Jason is the winner, then I'll never ever watch Idols South Africa...

Idols V Farce

It has been confirmed that Idols voters are racist (well atleast it was confirmed by me) otherwise how does one explain the voting out of Thembi Nkosi from the competion. Thembi has more talented than Lendel, Graeme and Jason combined. It was a shock to see her leave. I was left nauseous.

I bet you my last cent that should Thembi have been white she'd be through to the next round. I know some would criticize me for pulling out the 'race' card but reality is that it is true. Indians didn't vote for Lendel because he was talented but because he was one of their kind. The same goes for white people...ofcourse they would argue that why then black people didn't vote for Thembi. Let's be realistic here, how many black people have DSTV? Where Thembi is from, Thembisa, they had to gather at the hall to be able to watch their hero and hope. If Idols were aired on SABC 1 we'd be talking a different story now, wouldn't we?
Idols have become a joke. I mean, how many Idols winners have made it big after they won the competition? Exactly!

I hope Thembi finds a recording contract so that she can show the world that winning Idols is not everything...

DSTV Comedy Festival

I am an ardent fan of stand-up comedy. I'm totally in love with it especially South African. So last month I headed to club Latinova in Rosebank for the first installment of DSTV Comedy Festival. My goodness! What a show! The line up boasted of an up and coming comedian and actor Thomas Gumede whom I never really thought he can be that funny. There was also Chris Mapane who kept audience in stitches with his dance moves. Roni Madimola must be the one of the wittiest and underrated comedians that I know. Not only his jokes are intelligent but relevant too. Eugene Khoza was the one who closed the show. He is indeed a crowd favorite.

Yesterday was the second instalment of the festival. I gotta say i was a bit disappointed. There was no order. It was difficult to hear what some of the comedians were saying because some people were yapping non-stop. It seemed everyone had a bit too much to drink. At one point I felt like throwing stuff at them. It was so vexatious and annoying. What made things worse is seeing Ntosh Madlingozi, who is the facilitator of the whole thing, busy up and down chatting up women. I don't mind him chatting up women but not when someone is performing. It distracts the mood. At one point him and some comedians, who were in a little corner, were chatting so so loud that people had to shoosh them. That was a just a sad sight.

My advise to the organisers is to move the festival from month end to the middle of the month. In this way it will limit any Tom, Dick and Harry who had to wait month-end to get paid. I mean, Latinova is a la mode classy joint and I'd like to believe they wouldn't like to spoil their image because of some roudy people.

Now back to the show. The show was relatively good. The MC was Eugene Khoza. That dude is funny. He doesn't need any script to be funny. He just improvise as he goes. The show kicked off with Zee 'The Protege'. Personally I think Zee will be more funnier if he was sharing his jokes with the group of friends. And also if you gonna tell the jokes at least try not to tell jokes that circulates in emails. Chances are that two thirds of the crowd know them and if you are gonna tell them try to spice it up with your own style.

Some James dude from USA followed him and he was not funny at all. I was so embarrased. He was followed by a British black lady, Eva Adelle, and boy wasn't she funny! It's pity I didn't get her name. She received a standing ovation from me. She was followed by a white dude from Cape Town. His jokes were alright but he is no Chris Forest. I don't think he completely connected with the audience which was 90% black.

Kagiso Lediga took on stage next. He is one of my favorite comedians because of his subtle, witty and sarcastic humor. I think he could have been more funny but the crowd at this stage seemed out of order. At one point he had to call them to order. I believe he prematurely ended his act. I'd have loved to hear more of him.

Trevor Noah, the pretty boy, ended the show. That colored boy is hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing. His ability to speak different languages is one of his best weapons besides his pretty face. His is very intelligent. His humour is observational. And the crowd loves him especially women and he uses that to his advantages.

All in all it was a good show except for the few incidents...To Be Continued...

Part III

On the 26th of March 2009 DSTV offered the third installment of the comedy festival. As usual it didn't disappoint. I believe South Africa has a great talent when it comes to stand-up comedy. The show was hosted by Tshepo Mogale. I totally enjoyed the way Tshepo controlled the crowd. It's high time that we as people learn that when there is a show we need to pay attention.

Siya B opened the show. That boy is so funny. You might remember Siya as 'Cassius' in a tv drama 'A Place Called Home'. And he can sing too. He had the crowd on the palm of his hand in such a way that after the show they chanted his name. Unfortunately he had already left so we couldn't get an 'encore'...

Joey Rasdien followed him. Joey is to comedy what Lil' Wayne is to hip-hop - totally crazy! He is a rockstar. There was this one time where he told a joke and the crowd was cheering loudly, he just told them, in his colored accent 'Stop making noise! You are cheering so that I can get off stage..voetsek!!'. I thought that was funny...

Kedebone Mulaudzi took the stage next. I liked the way he related a joke about blacks naming their children with names like 'Airtime Ndlovu', Mortgage Ngidi, etc!

Conrad Koch closed the show. He is more of a ventriloquist than a stand-up comedian. Even though he was funny, I am not too sure if he was what the audience expected that night...